Psalm 139 - ALL the days ordained for me.

Last week in church, the sermon was on Psalm 139. I thought to myself, “Oh, I know this one. I even have it memorized.” So I’m listening as they read it in German, following along with what I know

1 You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.

And it continued, familiar phrases and images to me and you:

Before a word is on my tongue . . . You hem me in behind and before and lay your hand upon me. . . . Where can I go from your Spirit? Rise on the wings of the dawn. . . .Even the darkness will not be dark to you. . . . fearfully and wonderfully made. . . .

Then come those words that are so reassuring to so many:

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

That is as far as I memorized. How about you?

A few verses later the psalm just kind of plunges off a cliff.

19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

As I read, I was suddenly jarred back to my senses. Where did these verses come from? Why didn’t I memorize them back in 1983 with the rest of the psalm? Well, I knew why. Those imprecatory psalms – smite them, Lord – are the ones you skip over as incomprehensible, and I had skipped over this section.

But it’s there, and it really changes the whole tenor of the psalm. This is David on the run, hiding in a cave. Enemies are chasing after him. And he recognizes that wherever he may go, even when fleeing from Saul, he cannot flee from God’s presence. Even when hiding in the darkness, the darkness is not dark to God.

It all came careening home to me. “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Taken in context, it’s not just talking about the overarching plan that God has for my life – the big picture. That’s how I always read it.

It’s talking about all the days of my life, 
each and every one of them, 

even the darkest of dark days 5 months ago when I was hiding in a dark cave of a room with Al Qaeda terrorists outside firing away, who would surely have killed me if they had found me.

THAT day – March 13, 2016 – was written in God’s book before I was born. God knew about it. And ordained it.

Why? I’ll never know this side of eternity.

But I do now that He was familiar with my ways. He knew where we had hidden – in that dark unfinished room with no door or window, and coconuts and a tarp.

He hemmed us in behind and before, with his hand upon us.

Even the darkness of that day was not too dark for him. The darkness was as light to him. And we could not flee from his presence.

I am left dumbfounded, like David who said:

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.